Friday, November 12, 2004
Im glad i have a best friend to tell me just exactly how i act, someone that wont lie to me when im being a whore, or anything, you name it, shell say the truth and nothing but the truth! but i keep running through my head, trying to figure it out! when did i become such a horrible person....why did i? and why couldnt i relize how i was acting untell someone wrote it out in bold letters for me!?! Who the hell is this!!! i wont lie and tell you im this inncocent down to earth person(derik why would you think im still like that ive changed why do you care about this person i am now?) do you want the TRUTH? you want to know everything about me right? the words that describe me... whore, bitch, anorexic, stupid, failer, dissapointment, ugly, hypocrit, pothead, peel popper, nasty, depressed, heart broken, in lust, angry, prejudice, liar, tease, fake! FOR GODSAKE WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT WHAT I AM NOW???? im overrated, overused and ashamed! 2 yrs ago i would have hated who i am now, i probl. would have said that i should be shot! and i should be! God i dont belong here! i need out of this town, a place no one knows who i am, a new beggining, but life isnt that easy I have 7 months before i leave! and untell then im stuck!I think I finally need someone to take care of me to watch over me! And i'd love a man in my life to hold me and tell me its alright but i have peggy and she's better then any man could ever be she's my best friend and im happy i atleast have her to push me to keep going and to change back to the caring person i was! I WILL CHANGE AND BETTER MYSELF! I WILL! I WILL! No more giving up!
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